fragile

i'm sorry that it's been so long....i have descended into boxes and curtains and re-stocking my pantry and have surfaced happy and tired and settled.  my mother came to visit for the last 10 days, and as i was hugging her hello at the airport my father walked around the corner to surprise me!  so, they've both been helping me nest and have played copious games, read stories, washed dishes...what a treat. 
and i've painted in my new studio (did you notice?).  just writing that makes me take a deep breath and smile.  for the first time in my life i have a room all to myself.  half of it is my painting gear and easel, and the other is my desk and sewing machine and knitting supplies.  glorious!  it's a room off of the family room and it has sliding glass doors (that lock!!) and a nice window and lots of lights.  it's also beside the guest bathroom that houses a sinker tub that has armrests built in....can you tell i'm in love with my home?  truthfully, i'm not sure i'm going to get through this post without taking a dip.
okay, so you're wondering why i've named this post "fragile".  it's not because i'm particularly feeling that way, at least not this minute.  it's because of something my sunday school teacher was talking about today. 
yes, i now go to sunday school.
and it's awesome.
we currently have a guest teacher from a nearby Bible college, and his name is Jeromey Martini.  i told him i loved his name, which made him smile, and then i said "pomtinis!", which made him confused (or at least look that way).  whoops!
anyways,  he's been doing a series called "dirty christian", based on the scripture passage 2 Corinthians 4:7-12: holding the treasures of God in jars of clay.  the first couple classes he asked us to turn to the person next to us and say "you're a dirty christian".  why did i like that so much?  we've been exploring the incredible reality of God choosing such a vulnerable creation to enter into, such fallable disciples to entrust with the gospel, such a precarious process of forming the written word.  but He uses all this dirt and dust, this fragile flesh and blood, and imbues it with His reality, His love, His very image.  unbelievable, and, yet, i believe true. 
today we looked at a dirty Jesus.  exhale.  that feels naughty to write, and not in a good way.  but yes, Christ chose to put on this humanity, but he perfected it. oh, He was still a "jar of clay" as it were, he was vulnerable and fragile, but he did not break. 
someone in the class had trouble with this (picturing Jesus as dirty) and she said "but, Jesus never sinned" and Martini answered "no, he didn't.  being vulnerable and fragile is not a sin."

inhale.

being fragile is not a sin.  being broken and bruised and tender and a little afraid, hungry and confused and frustrated, tired and embarrassed and wanting to hide.  this is the human condition.  and i think this is what we need to be sharing with each other.  this is what we need to hold out into the light so that others can see and understand and recognize their own condition within ours.  and i feel this very strongly today, because i'm striving to be a disciple of Jesus, and this is what Jesus did. 

Jesus thought it was okay to be a person.  so why do i think i need to be perfection?  why should i hide my dirty dishes and my fears and my morning failures and my timid hopes?  i shouldn't. 

i'm glorying in being fragile today.  incarnation seems to add some sparkle to everyday life, don't you think?  i hope i can inspire you to shed the masks you feel pushed to wear, and revel in vulnerable friendships, and give yourself a break for being dirty. :)

that said, i'm going for a bubble bath.