About Me

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I now live in Victoria, after a couple years on the North Shore of Vancouver, and a (too) brief time in the prairies. Working as an artist, mother and wife (not necessarily in that order), i am striving to live well, to find the truth of God in all things, and to pass on this truth to others.

Monday, January 14, 2013

hypochondria

so, i didn't blog last week.  sorry about that.  do you care?  i have this fantasy that somewhere out there someone is opening their laptop, navigating to my blog, and letting out a little cry of dismay. 
i'm not sure i should have shared that.  or if i should share what's to come, but what the heck.

i've been nauseous.  look at all the vowels in that word!  it's nauseating to write.  scott and i have both been struggling for weeks with this virus who's only means of making itself known is with a sinking queasy feeling after you eat.  it will disappear for a meal, a day, even two.  then wham-o!  it strikes again. 

after a few weeks of this i started to worry a little.  what if i'm pregnant?  i let the thought rumble around in my brain for a few moments like marbles in a bowl.  obviously, an empty bowl, because i soon remembered that scott is experiencing the same symptoms.  and he's not pregnant.
 and then i remembered that he's had a vasectomy. 
    and then i remembered that i'm on my period. 

dearest father-in-law, i'm sorry you had to read that.  i can hear you guffaw in my mental ears. 

obviously, it's a little embarassing to let you in on my spasmatic throught life.  but aren't we all prone to a little hypochondria? (not that pregnancy is an illness, but in my experience it comes with months of puking my gutts out)  don't these moments of weakness unite us in some strange way, and help us to laugh at ourselves?  i think some of the best stories i've heard from friends are connected to some fleeting paranoia
  • waking up a husband in the middle of a romantic hotel stay because you're quite certain your numb arm means a heart attack (your arm was asleep),
  • driving yourself to the hospital because while reaching over to pick up the casserole you're pretty sure your placenta separated from your uterus (it was gas),
  • you went to the doctor for a pregnancy test because your gums were really bleeding when you flossed and the last time that happened you were pregnant (but they were bleeding because you never floss your teeth - in fact the last time you did was in your last pregnancy).  okay, that last one was me again! 
but truly, how can we not be a little frayed around the medical edges?  we're constantly bombarded with signs of stroke, heart attack, diabetes, breast cancer...i mean, there must be a good reason why we ALL need to know this stuff right?  it's so that we can micro-analyse every symptom until we're basically sitting on the examination table in our paper dress, practicing the speech we'll give to the doctor when she walks in the door about how were are on death's doorstep and really just need her consent.   just let me go, good doctor.  it's been a full life.

when my daughter was two weeks old we took her to the hospital because she was constipated.  no, i'm not kidding.  the intake nurse looked at me, crying, and said "are you okay?"
i whimpered "she's just so little....so small...i didn't think we'd be taking her to the hospital so soon....." (meaning, i was anticipating taking her to the hospital over some reason or other....but maybe after she'd reached at least a month of maturity). 
she answered "yeah....we're going to get you in to see a doctor right away...."
which confirmed my suspicions that something was drastically wrong with my baby, but was really about the nurse thinking along the lines of
                   "ticking
                           time
                                  bomb".
the doctor walked in, humming.  he played with her feet.  he literally said something along the lines of "do-de-do-de-doo".  looked me in the eyes and pronounced "yeah...you're babies fine.  how are you?".

ah, man.  you know why i can laugh and tell you these things?  because i know you have similar stories!!  don't pretend you don't!!!

so, feel free to share your hypochondraic thoughts with me, i will try and suppress the urge to make them my own.

7 comments:

  1. I check all the time and just the other day I was saying in my head, "Ok, Janet. New years day is long over with. Time for a new post!" And I will be honest, my first thought was, Is she prego??? So let the marbles roll, my friend! And you are so human to get crazy medical thoughts. I have definitely had my share although not so sure I have gone to the doctor with them. This is only due to the fact that I feel like I go to the doctor all the time and I don't want to go there any more than I have to. Hope the virus leaves all of you soon! If it helps, on my first day back to work, first thing in the morning, I had one of my students puke all over himself, his desk and the floor! Then it didn't get cleaned up until 2 in the afternoon. We had to leave with the horrendous smell and horrible picture all day! I can't believe none of us have gotten sick yet! And my "disaster" student ended up getting his boot in the puke! I had to put it in a plastic bag and deliver it to his grandma after school. Fun times with children!!!!

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  2. I check your blog regularly. I cannot think of any hypochondriac stories. Maybe the opposite...? Like the fact that, apparently I have an aneurysm and the beginnings of cataracts, and I don't think about them too much. It helps that I don't really have any obvious signs or symptoms.

    Ok..truth be told: Occasionally, when I get a headache, I wonder if the aneurysm is growing - which IS possible, so I guess that I do not fit in the hypoC category...

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  3. oops...forgot my name above ^^^

    it's me
    the RMT(-S) RPN2B

    :)

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  4. Yes Janet - I also read your blog - just to assure you, I'm sure that all people who have blogs wonder the same thing :) I wonder if you have checked out mine?

    I don't think I'm a hypochondriac but one thing that certainly bugs me and could lead me to being one is the progressively worsening experiences for the same thing! 4 babies - the first two were 'easy' the third one only took an hour - the fourth almost did me in!! Well, I guess he was 12 pounds- but no more babies!! And I remember a lot of fear settling in when I thought there might be one more on the way....

    Then with joint surgeries... the first spinal I didn't even feel, the second time the spinal was clearly felt - the third spinal was brutal!! and would you believe that they gently con you into a 'nerve block' and then proceed to prick and prod you until you feel flashes of 'electrodes skipping down your leg' and your knee jumps!! Isn't that a type of torture? Enough, no more joint replacements!!

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  5. Dearest Janet!

    My long lost friend! I'm so happy to have found you! I was in BC last january and was trying to find you, but you weren't there. I looked on fb, but you weren't there either. So of course, I called foxy. She told me at that time you had moved.
    Recently she told me about this lovely page.
    I am giggling. I love these thoughts you've shared, partly because they're real and funny (at least to read, prob not at the time:), and partly because I can hear your tone of voice in my head along with some facial expressions. (I can't "hear" the facial expressions...)
    ... sweet sweet memories of Janet.
    As of yet, I haven't had any precious little babies, but I've definately heard the stories...
    including the ones when Mr."hubby" was supposed to have had a vasectomy, but chickened out of his appointment and then Mrs."wife" got pregnant again. I've heard that one a couple of times.

    Moving on, I love love LOVE your paintings! They are stunning! Gorgeous! Beautiful! What a talent and a gift to us all.
    Thinking of you often with love and prayers..
    xo..Julie M

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    Replies
    1. i think there are 37 people under the age of 65 who are not on facebook in Canada, and i happen to be one of them. so glad you found me here! what a treat to hear from you :)

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  6. Hi Janet,

    Are you available for workshops in school classrooms?
    A friend of mine suggested that you might be. Please let me know.
    Thanks,

    Liz Johnson - ljohnson@regentonline.ca

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