the land of the living

so, here's the update:
the sale of our house fell through.
the purchase of our house in saskatoon, therefore, also fell through.
scott starts work monday morning two provinces away from me.
we're back at waiting.  all the dates penciled into the calendar are erased.  just uncertainty.
poured cream into my tea this morning (yes, cream in tea is awesome) and noticed the expiry date is oct. 30th.  i'm still drinking it.

remembrance day came at the perfect time.  a formation of old war planes flew over our home yesterday just after eleven.  it was so moving and beautiful.  i have been thinking of all the wives who have, and who still, say goodbye to their husbands for indefinite amounts of time, with a great chance that it's goodbye forever. and how even if their husband returns he is often no longer the man they married, or at the very least, has experienced events she will never comprehend.  and suddenly, i've got it easy!!

God's been speaking to me through Psalm 27 this week - each day another verse hits me deeply.  yesterday it was the last two:

yet I am confident i will see the Lord's goodness

while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

I almost didn't return to BC for my senior year of university.  I had this idea that i wasn't living a full life as a disciple of Christ because i was involved in the Christian "bubble" of Trinity Western University.  in my discernment process that summer God gave me this phrase "the land of the living" and really impressed on me that this land, in my case, was BC.  i came back here, started dating scott in my last week of school, and have never left.  actually, since we began dating we haven't been separated for over 10 days.  and BC has definitely been the land of new life for me, my promised land of fullness and beauty and growth.   so, this verse yesterday shot to a deep place: i will see the Lord's goodness while i am here...
be brave Janet
be courageous.
wait patiently.

i'm waiting God.  i'm waiting.  i'm waiting.

today i will watch for God's goodness and will not be disappointed.  in fact, i've already seen it in the health of my children and their joy - waking up to hugs and smiles and excitement for a day off from school.  french toast.  sunlight.

but not this tea.  God's blessing is not in the old cream.