About Me

My photo
I now live in Victoria, after a couple years on the North Shore of Vancouver, and a (too) brief time in the prairies. Working as an artist, mother and wife (not necessarily in that order), i am striving to live well, to find the truth of God in all things, and to pass on this truth to others.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

abiding

So, today (after singing quite loudly in the shower at 9am in an exercise of calming down my worries by worship) some hope!  After our house has been on the market for 16 days we finally have our first viewing tomorrow.  The house is what I have now termed "ship", which is short form for "ship-shape" (because who's got the time for the second syllable?) and I would be grateful if you'd pray with me that whoever comes here tomorrow would be "the ones", and fall head-over-heels for our little beautiful home.

this complete dependance on God business is no piece of cake.  It's been a difficult week, trying to find my groove as the new bread winner in the family.  Last night a dear friend (you know who you are!) gifted scott and i with a few hours out and we sat in a coffee shop and did what Walter Wangarin terms "the work of marriage" - in other words, we divided up the duties.  i have kept bathrooms and grocery shopping but am thrilled to say that Scott has most of the rest!  Now i have to do the work of not micro-managing.  I feel you all out there feeling with me.

It's also been a difficult week dealing with anxiety.  Selling our home has proved no easy matter, and i'm getting tired of hoping every time the phone rings that it's our real estate agent.  ironic that i was in the shower when he finally did call this morning.  I was singing that song
whom have I but you?
though the mountains fall into the sea
whom have I but you?
though my coloured dawn may turn to shades of gray
whom have I but you?
though my questions asked may never be resolved
whom have I but you?

do you know it?  it helped.
my dear friend (you still know who you are) also gifted me with a massage this week.  actually, it was technically termed a "release" of my gluteus maximus (why did they give it a technical name that screams "HUGE!"?) - which technically means her elbow was digging into my butt cheek.  anyways, as we were talking, whenever the word "house" was said my whole body would instantly tense like a rock.  it's amazing to me how you can work so hard to keep your thoughts and actions centered on trusting and hoping and resting in God, but the stress gets pushed into your body anyways.  how do we stop this?  how do we live lives that are truly totally abiding?  i guess practice makes perfect, but i'm really hoping that this practice session is almost over!

thanks for all of your prayers for us, your words of affirmation and kindness when i meet you at the grocery store or in church lobbies, your continued interest in our lives and children's lives.  i will definitely post if we sell the house in the next few days.  and, hey, have i ever mentioned that i love comments?  that i actually might check for comments numerous times a day like a total nerd?  that my blog-savvy husband just showed me how to open up my comments so that anyone and everyone could write one to me? 
just saying.

Psalm 127 has been medicine for my soul this week.  go read it, and rest in God's love (as well as you can).

7 comments:

  1. Thinking of you during this time of life change - and reminded of the Apostle Paul's comments to the Colossians:)
    "May you be made strong with all the strength that comes from His glorious power, and may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully giving thanks to the Father..." Also, the quote, "Life is not a series of problems to be solved but a mystery to be lived," changed my life perspective from anxiety to anticipation and in so doing eased a lot of tension. God be with you,
    Laurel S-Smith

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey janny. thinking of you often. i would call you right now, but my voice sounds like scooby-doo and i'm coughing quite a bit.
    i'm glad that you were able to get a glutes massage ;)
    praying for you and your family.
    love you ToNs.
    r.ox

    ReplyDelete
  3. In the breadwinner department, I'll bring you some $ at book club, towards that gorgeous painting in my family room
    =)
    p.s. if you want comments, it helps to read other blogs and leave comments, it brings you more traffic, IME!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi janet,
    I met you at Rockridge, and came to your blog to see some of your lovely paintings after doing the fun sketching workshop with you there.
    I just want to say that I find your blog so uplifting and encouraging, even when you are just admitting your own fears and struggles. Your faith is inspiring.
    I will be praying for you and your family that the house sells soon, and you can make the big move.
    Blessings, Susie

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know what it is like to wait and to not be in control. This weekend was very tough for me not knowing whether I have cancer or not, whether I would endure painful treatments, whether I would have to leave my job and my kids which I love, etc., etc. But God is good and the morning of my appointment, I woke up with so much peace and I realized that no matter what the results, God was with me, loving me and we would get through this. Praise God, I do not have cancer, but it was a bit bitter sweet. As my mom and I walked out of the cancer clinic, I said to her, "Why do I get good news and so many of the other people here do not receive such good news and have to endure the pain of cancer?" My heart broke for each and every one of them. I will never know the answer to this question, but I do know one thing, I will continue to share God's goodness and love with others and I know that He has beautiful plans for you and the selling of your home. All in His time! It will be great! I love you!
    Cori

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really, really, really love that painting with your angelic neighbours. It's very striking, and the juxtaposition of holiness and everydayness is incredible. NICE WORK!

    I saw a piece that was pretty amazing with some halo action in it...I'll see if I can find a linky for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Here you go! The first one is my favorite, but all her pieces are gorgeous

    http://www.breastfeedingmomsunite.com/2010/05/madonna-and-child-like-paintings-are-obscene-too/

    ReplyDelete