giving thanks

i was listening to adele this morning while journalling.  my 6-yr old son was dancing around me - now he's got this funky leg twitch happening with the beat, now he's spinning and moving his feet like a break-dancer, now he's catapulting himself off the couch - pretty incredible stuff.  anyways, i'm listening to the words "we could have had it all".  and i think to myself 'i have it all'.
i have it all.

i have love that i daily give and receive.
i have purpose and calling and meaning.
i have friendship and loyalty and kindness.
i have comfort and compassion.
i have understanding.
i have laughter and silliness and rest.

tonight, during the thanksgiving feast, i looked around the table at friends new and old, at family, at my husband, and when it was time for me to answer the annual question "what are you thankful for?", i told them:  "i have it all".

i'm feeling nervous that i'm starting to make you hate me.  so let me explain further.

i'm currently (slowly - because it's not fiction and therefore a challenge for me to read, sigh) reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.  i picked this book as one of my fall reads because it's all about vulnerability and it's necessity for wholeness of life. in one of the early chapters she talks about our culture of scarcity.  how one of our first thoughts in the day is how we did not get enough sleep, how we don't have the right outfit, how we don't get enough vitamins, or sunshine, or exercise...our society of consumerism and perfectionism leaves us lacking.  always lacking.

it is thanksgiving though.  and i think, as a gift to ourselves, we should have a scarcity-free day.  a day where we focus on gratefulness.  on generosity.  where we push away the "not enoughs".  where we are not miserly with our care for others or for ourselves, with our love, with our encouragement, with our laughter.    where we ignore the not good enoughs or smart enoughs or pretty enoughs or funny enoughs.  because, seriously, no one is.
there's the secret - no one is enough.  and that's where vulnerability comes in.  we take our places of lack and turn them inside out - into moments of connection with others, into vehicles for growth or forgiveness or compassion.

so, while journaling with my dancing son and Adele's sweet sweet vocals, i pictured myself as a cup.  a full cup.  an overflowing cup.  i thought of all of the amazing things my life holds, all of the beauty and grace.  i prayed that i would live my life as an outpouring of that overflow.  that i would give extravagantly, outrageously.  because, although in and of myself i am nowhere near enough of what i should and could be -  i am loved.  i am accepted.  i am forgiven.  i am called.  i am redeemed. because God is in my life, there is enough.  

more than enough.

and for that, Lord, i am truly thankful.