thoughts on age

a couple weeks ago i had this dream that i was standing in line waiting to get into some function.  i didn't know what the function was, but it was in a building, and i was in line, and i was in the front!  so, i really didn't care what was inside because i was revelling in the fact that i was at the front and the scores of people behind me would just have to wait (hey - i can't help it if i'm sinful in my dreams).  i finally got through the doors.  i still couldn't see what was happening but the air was thick with anticipation and excitement.  the door attendant asked to see my ID, so i passed it over and she looked at it closely.  VERY closely.  she started scratching at my birth date to see if it would come off.  she said "promise me this isn't fake".
i was in utter shock.
i answered "i am 36 years old.  are you serious?  do you really think i need fake ID?  THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!".  i might have hugged her, my memory is a bit fuzzy at this part, and i don't think i ever made it inside much further than the doorway before i woke up.  but the meaning of the dream was clear - no need to call in the interpreters for this one.

a few days later i was talking to my friend Sonal about her leggings.
"where did you get those?  they look so good."
sheepishly she answers "lululemon"
"oh" i say
"i know they're expensive, but they literally last me 10 years so it's worth the money".
hmmm.
i go home and tell scott that i think i need to buy some lululemon leggings because mine keep shrinking (blame it on the leggings!) and look horrible and "Sonal says they'll last me ten years!"
suddenly i'm hit with the realization that in ten years i will be almost 47 years of age and will probably NOT be wearing leggings. 
"forget it," i say "i'll stick with the cheap ones".

scott is probably thinking, 'i didn't even have to say a word!'

my daughter, who is 8, recently asked me what it was like in the "old-fashioned times", when i was a kid.

my birthday is coming soon, can you tell?

but here's the truth - i wouldn't go back.  it's not worth the thin waist or the ability to eat copious amounts of food with no thought to the consequences or the lack of responsibility.  i like me better now.  i don't live afraid anymore.  i have fulfilling work and relationships and, yes, responsibilities. i adore my children.  i'm in love with my husband.  i'm living the dream at 36!

so bring on the birthday.  although i might make myself some fake ID.