old

tonight, dear friends, i feel old.
for a number of little reasons.
first, i have a five year old and an eight year old.  my youngest is now five.  many (most?) of my friends are either still in pregnancy stage or have a toddler still hanging off their skirt.  not that i want a toddler hanging off me particularly, but it makes me feel old.
my youngest took some pictures of me tonight.  i was sitting in my favourite chair with the sunlight streaming in, i had a flower clipped into my hair, and was wearing one of my favourite dresses.  a recipe for success.  i looked at the pictures and here's what i beheld:  wrinkles around my mouth, deep caverns under my eyes, greasy hair and pallid skin.  i know, you're all trying to think of ways to encourage me right now but you did NOT see these pictures so forget it!!
my back is hurting from the workout i did this morning.
and i just had to play with my poo using a little stick because of this series of disgusting tests my doctor is having me perform to see if i have something.  i'm not being evasive with the "something" i seriously can not remember what it is she thinks i might have - something ending with "sis".   see how old i am? 
seriously, i walked into the bedroom, holding my plastic baggy of grossness, back hurting, frumpled and grumbly.  i said to my (younger) husband "i feel old."

so i gave myself a little pep talk.

first, no, you don't have to point it out to me - my back is hurting because i worked out.  old people don't do that.  and it was a jillian michael workout.  nuff said.
i stared at myself in the mirror and said "you look hot in this dress"  (my husband from the other room - "yes!").  my shoulders look a little buff - i performed my first real push-up today.  old people can't do that.  my parts aren't saggy (probably more because some physically can't sag, but still). 
i jumped up and down and played with rhythm sticks in my sons preschool class today.  that's right, he's not even in school yet.  just pre-school.  i'm so young.
i waxed my own legs this morning - how juvenile is that? 

the light must have just hit me wrong in those pictures.  and my doctor is totally over-reacting - i probably have an ulcer - that's such a typical young person thing.

unless it's early menopause.

oh,
dear.
i need to go and re-apply some face cream.