today feels like a turning point. 

first, it was my little man's last day of being three years old.  sigh.  i picked him up into my arms at the grocery store and said "pretty soon you'll be too big for me to do this!" and he said "i can stand on a chair and hug you."  he's been using big words lately like 'familiar' and 'appreciate'.  i can't believe my youngest is four. 

secondly, i started attending a bootcamp class with two friends today.  i've really been asking God for this (i can NOT believe i just wrote that, but it's true) and it was such an awesome answer to prayer to have friends to work out with.  for some reason i can motivate other people to exercise much better than i can motivate myself.  but i was actually excited for boot camp.  miracle!  i remember in BC watching my friend Leah, and how she would be so excited to exercise and i thought (sorry Leah) "coo-coo".  exercise has always been a painful process for me, albeit necessary:  like fasting, or breast-feeding, or small-talk.  but now...nothing beats that endorphine rush, or the satisfaction i feel knowing i've worked hard at my health.  and i'm proud of the example i'm being for my kids.  and secretly proud of my thighs.  don't tell.

third, it was 18 degrees in Saskatoon today, and i felt the incredible sensation of being hot.  ahhhhh.  we barbequed steak for dinner and splurged on corn-on-the-cob.  we walked along the river and explored the foot-bride near the wier.  we saw a pelican!  a big white one bobbing up and down on the water.  who knew?  and i got my first saskatoon misquito bite.  it's begun.

fourth, carter started his first soccer class today.  i think his team name is going to be the "little monkeys" and their chant is a very cute "oo-oo-ahh-ahh".  yes, he cried at least twice in the practice because someone else was using the ball he wanted, but he also trapped the ball with his foot quite well a few times and managed to listen to most of the instructions.  baby steps.

i guess today feels like i've settled in an inch more in this new home.  like i've wiggled my hips and sunk down a bit deeper.  new rhythms, new appreciation, new discoveries.  it feels great (except for the misquito bite). 

the other day scott and i were talking about a church in the area and their approach to leadership and i had the thought "maybe that's the answer for Parkside!", then quickly realized we are no longer at Parkside, and there no longer is a Parkside, and,well, that's hard. it's hard.  there are some wishes and wonderings and what-ifs in my soul that i continue to stuff down.  no answers in this life i'm sure.  but some scars that i tenderly stroke as dear friends, as beautiful memories and deep loss.

on saturday night scott pulled out his guitar and i pulled out my paintbrushes and we sang and painted for an hour.  songs we haven't sung in a long time.  prayers we needed to remember.  it was lovely.  i'm currently painting someone's vision of the kingdom of God - a huge battle scene actually - and it's inspiring and terrifying all at the same time.  inspiring in the vision, and terrifying in the fact that i'm painting chain mail and horses and a castle.  !  i'll post it when it's done in four months.  seriously.

i also went to a class on the weekend that taught me how to plant and tend succulents (one of my favourite variety of plants).  the teacher was a sassy homosexual named roger who was wonderful and said things like "a rounded teaspoon ladies, we're not baking here" and "you'll find my succulent tips on the website".  succulent tips.  i love it.  so, i'll leave you with some of my own succulence: 

• don't skip rope if you have poor bladder control (learned that one in bootcamp today)
• bbq your steak for 2 minutes, each side, on high heat - then tent with foil for 10 minutes and perfection!
• if your kitchenaid mixer falls on your foot don't watch the blood pooling under your skin because it will make you want to pass out.
• prioritize sabbath
• my new favourite author is Laurie R. King (not to be confused with Laurie King who does erotic photography - this one learned at the computor kiosk in the middle of indigo)
• try Stash's double bergamot earl grey tea
• live thankfully

blessings to you all

ps. could someone hug leah for me?  and dawn?  and vanessa? and could someone encourage bethany that she's an incredible mother and artist? and could someone rub Jaclyn's belly for me? and tell Kandy she's beautiful? and kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek? thank you.