denouement

my in-laws were just in town for a few days, and now they've left and i have this dull after the climax feeling.  denouement.  who likes denouement?  maybe people who enjoy endings.  i, for one, am always saddened when i near the end of a book or a (good) movie.  i hate packing for a vacation early because that hour of waiting between the zipping of the suitcase and getting in the car seems to suck all the excitement out of me.   give me tension and drama and suspense!!
my in-laws walked out, i closed the door and turned around to.....silence.  i've been teetering over grumpy ever since.

i severely put my foot in my mouth the other day.  want to hear?
i took my guests to the saskatoon farmer's market and immediately hit a stall that was selling  sea buckthorn berries.  never heard of them?  well, they're the most tart thing you've ever tasted, and supposedly are the best thing in the world for your immune system and overall health.  you heard it hear first, don't forget.  well, i had just purchased a little bag of these gems for smoothies and happened to glance down at the literature on the table, with graphs and charts promoting the seabuckthorn for all it's glorious qualities.  i noticed the line:  president Betty Forbes.  i said "ha!  betty forbes!  that's funny!!" (thinking, of course, of betty ford) and immediately noticed a silence illuminating from the other side of the table.  i looked at this lovely woman, who was now staring at the floor, and quietly asked
        "are     you       Betty        Forbes?"
she nodded.
poop.
i tried to dig myself out but fear i was unsuccessful.

i had a friend invite me to be on the church's slopitch team.  at first i was flattered, then quickly realized she had never seen me play any sport whatsoever, which then quickly led me to remember that i suck at competitive sport.  the fact that i first read the invitation as "would you be interested in playing slop-itch" should have been the first clue.  i thought it must be a card game i had yet to hear of. :)  i declined the offer, stating that it was in her best interest.

my daughter's principal informed her school today that we are in the season of "sprinter".  translation: 'stop pretending it's spring out there and get your winter coats back on.'  the snow has almost completely melted however, and i have joyfully discovered a flower bed in my backyard, as well as some patio stones making little paths here and there and a firepit circle.  we are using the barbeque more than the oven and i've packed away the long-johns.  you don't scare me sprinter!

one of the most magical moments of my last week was holding my friend lindsey's newborn baby in my arms.  he led out a big poop - i was so happy!  it is always a breathtaking experience to be reminded again of how helpless we enter the world, how completely devoid of understanding, how completely dependant and fragile...and that this was the path Christ chose.  it speaks to me of strength in weakness, beauty in dependency, honour in parenthood, blessing in helplessness.  and what a gift to walk beside Lindsey.  this is her first baby, and it feels so fulfilling to be able to say "this is normal" - the words i so wanted to hear every hour in the first weeks of my daughter's life.  i often add "i'm sorry it's normal", because truly, the hormonal imbalance, the discomfort, the panic, the confusion, the sense of drowning and losing yourself....why oh why does this have to be the norm?

i tell myself it's because motherhood is a sacred and incredible calling that cannot be entered into lightly.  we literally tear ourselves open for our children, and should continue to for the rest of our lives.

yet, my son eskimo  kissed me tonight (sorry that's so not politically correct), and my daughter held my hand and taught me a song about elephants, so the trade off is comparable.  they will fill my denouement with new climaxes and adventures and tension, i'm sure.

thank God.