all things new

on my wedding day my dear friend Roxy, who was one of my bridesmaids, looked at me and said "Janet, God has been GRACIOUS to you" (meaning:  it is a miracle of God that you are marrying such a man).  She said this repeatedly, repeatedly throughout the day.  it was a little frustrating at the time.  i mean, there's a little bit of grace flowing his direction too right?  anyways, she was right - God has been exceedingly gracious in my marriage.  and now i'm sitting in my new kitchen, overlooking my gorgeous house, and again, God has been GRACIOUS to me. 
there have been many times over the last few months where I have wondered what the heck God was up to.  My mom kept saying "oh, God's just waiting until the right house comes along for you" and i thought (sorry mom) "that's not always how life works."  and it's not.  many people are living wholeheartedly in the center of God's will, and they are suffering, they are living in deep pits where trusting is their only lifeline.  So, i don't think the grace of this home is a pat on the back for my good service.  but it is a gift.  and i'm treasuring it. 
we moved in yesterday, the coldest day of the year here in Saskatoon, with temperatures in the minus forties.  at one time I looked at the man moving in our boxes, who was from Quebec, and i thought he might burst into tears.  it was crazy cold. when we were unpacking the kitchen the glasses would immediately frost when they were unwrapped.  and anything metal would burn your skin.  welcome to the prairies!
but the house was immaculately clean.  and breathtakingly beautiful.  honestly, i feel like a princess. 

today my daughter had to bring to school:  a toboggan, a mug, and hot chocolate.  are you kidding me!!!
and this is my quote of the day.  i was picking up my son from a play date and as we were leaving the house he said "my mittens aren't on!" and i said "it's okay, it's only minus fourteen today".  he walked outside and said, "yah, i'm fine!". 

we now live in Saskatchewan. 
and i love it.
thankyou God for your grace.

week one

it's been seven sleeps under the saskatoon sky.
here is an account of my first experiences as a resident of Saskatoon.  I was welcomed off the plane by my happy husband and two new but very dear friends who brought presents for the kids (and me!).  i took Olivia to the bathroom to change her into her pj's and she was showing me this rash on her arm.  a women in the bathroom asked if she could look at it, then proceeded to tell me what it was, and the type of cream i should buy to help, and apologized profusely for not having said cream on her person.  i was then driven to the home of Martin and Michele, total strangers, who have given us their basement and have wholeheartedly welcomed us into their lives for two weeks. 
the next day we visited Olivia's school.  we walked in the front door and the secretary poked her head around the corner.  "are you Olivia?!!", then the principal "Olivia!  you're finally here!", then on to her classroom where her desk was piled high with notes and presents from her classmates and a room full of kids brimming with excitement to meet her.  one boy pretending to swoon cried out "sixteen girls and eight boys!"
i have learned that my child must bring snowpants in her backpack to school daily, that the garage is useful as a ginormous freezer space, what anti-lock brakes feel like when working, and that i love the prairies.  or, at least, i love it here. 
even though we are still very much in the midst of transition, i feel cradled by God.  as though He's sheltering me, blessing me, handling me gently.  i have seriously seen one face in the last week that wasn't smiling - the librarian when i tried to use my husbands card (i guess they are 100 percent NON-TRANSFERABLE, so don't even try!!!).  the sky is bright, the trees are covered in frost, the air is freezing but the wind is low - it's beautiful. 
i wonder if the months of waiting and struggle and frustration have now offered me this perspective of gratitude.  if so, i'm thankful for them.  i'm so thankful. 
our new church is a community of honesty and striving and kindness.  my husband wakes up happy and comes home from work smiling and that is worth the craziness.  women are calling me and caring for me and laughing at my jokes, and that is keeping the loneliness birds at bay. 
it is good to follow God's lead, even when it means the path takes you through some dark forested areas, or rocky seas with no land in sight - He has brought me out into a spacious place.  because He loves me. 
and He will do the same for you.

dear scott

i met the girls tonight for appys at the usual time and place and we laughed and cried and prayed and held each other in the rain.  such beautiful women, such important friendships (will i ever know how important?), it's so hard to release.  i drove away through Langley and i felt so awake, like the lights were brighter and i was breathing deeply and aware.
i am standing on a precipice, on the brink of life change,
         and i began to think of you.
i turned onto hwy 15, the bridge where you feel as though you are about to lift off and fly, and in my mind i was jumping into your arms and into this newness and adventure, and i was excited.  then i turned onto 140th and pictured your mother and started sobbing in the car.  marrying you has been the most exquisite gift God could have ever give me.  He knew exactly the man i needed, and the in-laws that i needed, and the life experiences, and challenges, and griefs and joys....i feel that tonight i trust Him in a way that is easy, un-complicated, and beautiful.
so the next chapter begins which will require us to be closer than ever.  i love you husband.  where you go, i will go.  your people will be my people, and your God my God. 
to God's glory, and for our joy.

i will kiss you tomorrow.