i added some garden photos to the spring post below.
About Me
- janet anderson
- I now live in Victoria, after a couple years on the North Shore of Vancouver, and a (too) brief time in the prairies. Working as an artist, mother and wife (not necessarily in that order), i am striving to live well, to find the truth of God in all things, and to pass on this truth to others.
Friday, May 27, 2011
backyard miracle update
i added some garden photos to the spring post below.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
spring
well, it's here. spring has sprung in saskatoon with such glory that it provides winter amnesia. the tree in my front yard is brilliant in youthful green, i believe a bleeding heart is growing in my front flower bed, and the grass has now turned truly into a lawn. i have spent much of the last week watching my children run through sprinklers, or not watching them play in their new fort (my backyard miracle!). it's heaven!
or, it would be if i didn't have a cold.
i know, whine whine, but summer colds suck.
i have thought of blogging a few times in the last number of days, but have thought "what is there to say?". my brain is currently swimming in snot. and, truth be told, i've been feeling a little down about the blog lately, wondering if anyone is actually reading it, and then
then!
i got a little postcard in the mail from a bosom buddy (bethany....... - that's said in a drawn out fashion with my head tilted down and to the side and my mouth slightly smily with a tina fey pout and my eyes looking up through my bangs at you - bethany......!) with great blogger encouragement, so i'm back at it. even with nothing to say. :)
i went to my first (cashless) poker tournament on monday. well, first i learned how to play poker at the end of our home group on sunday. it went a little like this:
'amen'.
pause.
'ummm....i have this serious problem that i need help with and if you don't want to or can't that's fine.'
affirmative and sympathetic nods and smiles from all.
'scott and i are in a poker tournament tomorrow and we need to learn texas hold-em tonight.'
i locked eyes on the one guy with the ear to ear grin and knew we were saved!
i was the second person out in the tournament, which landed me a set of toronto maple leafs cards (i'm sure there's some hockey significance to the gift and the losing, but i'm not privy to such trivia). scott, however, made it to the last table. i think it was the painful colouring of his hawaiian shirt - he caused his opponents moments of mental hysteria.
all-in-all it was a very fun time, despite the grandious amounts of deep-fried appys. the organizer of the game (and youth group pastor at our church) asked some friends to cook from a specific cookbook his wife had given him last Christmas, entitled "this is why you're fat". delicacies included deep-fried pepsi and doughnuts wrapped in bacon.
now, lest you think that people in saskatchwan actually eat like that, it was a joke.
there were also some amazing little bacon-cheese-pastry somethings and mexican layered dip and home-made caramel corn. yum.
i planted my first vegetable garden on the weekend. i'm doing the square-foot box method where you plant a different crop in each square foot of your 4x4' garden. so, i have two types of basil, two types of tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, beans, carrots (hopefully - they don't seem to be sprouting), beets, rosemary, oregano and strawberries (they take up four feet). every morning i come downstairs and look out my kitchen window to see if my tomato leaves look wilty. i love it! sunday morning i grabbed a cup of tea and went out to water in my pj's. i came in five minutes later refreshed and happy and with two misquito bites on my NECK! they (meaning the mosquito population) must have heard of my twilight tendencies. i wore a shirt with a collar to church to try and hide them, but the first women i saw graciously pointed them out to me. thank you.
well, i must rustle my children off to bed and my nose to a kleenex and my body to the couch (in that order).
quick news flash - my kids just came in from riding their bikes at the church parking lot (my daughter is still learning to go training-wheel free). can i just say how, with all the talk of the church not being a building, it's so nice to have a church building! anyways, the news is that my dear son went to blow a dandylion seedhead and sucked in by mistake. not recommended for humans.
or, it would be if i didn't have a cold.
i know, whine whine, but summer colds suck.
i have thought of blogging a few times in the last number of days, but have thought "what is there to say?". my brain is currently swimming in snot. and, truth be told, i've been feeling a little down about the blog lately, wondering if anyone is actually reading it, and then
then!
i got a little postcard in the mail from a bosom buddy (bethany....... - that's said in a drawn out fashion with my head tilted down and to the side and my mouth slightly smily with a tina fey pout and my eyes looking up through my bangs at you - bethany......!) with great blogger encouragement, so i'm back at it. even with nothing to say. :)
i went to my first (cashless) poker tournament on monday. well, first i learned how to play poker at the end of our home group on sunday. it went a little like this:
'amen'.
pause.
'ummm....i have this serious problem that i need help with and if you don't want to or can't that's fine.'
affirmative and sympathetic nods and smiles from all.
'scott and i are in a poker tournament tomorrow and we need to learn texas hold-em tonight.'
i locked eyes on the one guy with the ear to ear grin and knew we were saved!
i was the second person out in the tournament, which landed me a set of toronto maple leafs cards (i'm sure there's some hockey significance to the gift and the losing, but i'm not privy to such trivia). scott, however, made it to the last table. i think it was the painful colouring of his hawaiian shirt - he caused his opponents moments of mental hysteria.
all-in-all it was a very fun time, despite the grandious amounts of deep-fried appys. the organizer of the game (and youth group pastor at our church) asked some friends to cook from a specific cookbook his wife had given him last Christmas, entitled "this is why you're fat". delicacies included deep-fried pepsi and doughnuts wrapped in bacon.
now, lest you think that people in saskatchwan actually eat like that, it was a joke.
there were also some amazing little bacon-cheese-pastry somethings and mexican layered dip and home-made caramel corn. yum.
i planted my first vegetable garden on the weekend. i'm doing the square-foot box method where you plant a different crop in each square foot of your 4x4' garden. so, i have two types of basil, two types of tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, beans, carrots (hopefully - they don't seem to be sprouting), beets, rosemary, oregano and strawberries (they take up four feet). every morning i come downstairs and look out my kitchen window to see if my tomato leaves look wilty. i love it! sunday morning i grabbed a cup of tea and went out to water in my pj's. i came in five minutes later refreshed and happy and with two misquito bites on my NECK! they (meaning the mosquito population) must have heard of my twilight tendencies. i wore a shirt with a collar to church to try and hide them, but the first women i saw graciously pointed them out to me. thank you.
well, i must rustle my children off to bed and my nose to a kleenex and my body to the couch (in that order).
quick news flash - my kids just came in from riding their bikes at the church parking lot (my daughter is still learning to go training-wheel free). can i just say how, with all the talk of the church not being a building, it's so nice to have a church building! anyways, the news is that my dear son went to blow a dandylion seedhead and sucked in by mistake. not recommended for humans.
Friday, May 13, 2011
backyard miracles
i went to a craft show a few weeks ago. before i went i had the thought "way to go Janet! way to support local artists!" i've been to this show once before and loved it. it's held in this old warehouse in what looks to be the middle of nowhere (in the middle of a city) and i think it's organized by a local screen printers guild that actually works in some other section of the building. anyways, beautiful stuff.
i found my new favourite pair of earrings there for five dollars. yes! you read that right. they are angel wings, made of something silvery. they make me feel like i have a tattoo hanging from my ears and they make me think of my beautiful friend Cheri, and they're long enough that when i move my head quickly they tap my neck. tap tap tap go my angel wings.
today i wore them (again) and was in Rona when the cashier said to me (cue troubling music)
her: 'oh, i totally have those exact earrings. did you get them in a make-your-own-earrings set?'
me: 'no, i actually bought them at a local craft fair' (at this point i think she must be mistaken)
her: 'oh, cause i bought one of those kits and they have the same pair in them'
me: 'well, i probably paid much more than you then..... five dollars'
her: 'ya, well, i paid four.
(hmmmm)
but, i mean, there was a whole bunch in the kit...."
(grrrrr)
me: 'did you get the kit on-line?' (please say etsy please say etsy)
her: 'oh no, just at walmart'
you have got to be kidding me.
icing on the cake: the girl beside her leans over and says "ya, you can totally get kits like that at Michaels".
nail in the coffin. how many other coloqualisms can i write here?
my angel wings have lost some angelic presence, i must confess.
on a brighter note, my husband made me a square foot garden box for mother's day this week. i actually have a bonified garden in my bonified backyard. i planted lettuce, spinach, mint, beets, carrots and peas this week. i feel so domestic i'm hankering for a new apron.
there is something so pleasurable about putting a seed in the ground, covering it up, giving it some water, and watching a miracle. i mean, there's nothing i can do but give the seed the right conditions for growth, i can't personally make it grow. it's a beautiful reminder that God is absolutely in charge.
i was listening to an AWESOME sermon the other day while painting. i was painting chain mail (as in the armor not the annoying letters) and a horse, but that's another matter. the sermon was from Brian Buhler at Pacific Community and it was on Psalm 3.
first, let me say that i was filled with thankfulness that so many of my dear friends and Parkside sojourners now attend this church. i pictured cori and leah and dawn and jaclyn and vanessa and jenna all sitting and hearing what i was listening to and i so wished i could have been there as well.
my favourite part of the sermon was when Brian talked about those passages in the Psalms that we all cringe at: the inappropriate, bloodthirsty, bargaining, theologically incorrect parts. and how he explained that these prayers are a part of our holy scriptures not so much as examples of prayers to pray, but examples of honesty in prayer. they give us an invitation to prayer those desperate prayers that in other circumstances we would never pray. "God, if you just....then i promise I'll....". prayers of anger and loss and bitterness and disillusionment. like God is saying "i can take it. tell me how you really feel". and then, after we've laid it all out on the table, God reminds us of his truth, his wisdom, his timing, his goodness. something we fail to grasp when we continue to stuff our true selves behind veneers of piety.
hey, do you want to listen to it? here it is: the transforming friendship. it's the april 16th one.
tomorrow another backyard miracle is taking place here in saskatoon: my husband is going to build a play set for our kids. yes. scott's never been a handy man before, but it's been something simmering in him somewhere - fanned by summer jobs and inspirational friends (eddie!). we got a play set for free off kijiji which we took at first to be an incredible miracle, then found out in the midst of dismantling it that the wood was half rotted. so, now we have half a play set (and a backyard big enough to hide it!), a neighbour with tools, and all the right elements for my husband to break out of the anderson family tradition and build!!! i will definitely post pics when it's done. i can hardly contain my excitement. two things built in one week!!!
saskatoon has finally greened up, there are buds on my pear trees and tulips in neighbours gardens. how would we ever survive without the promises of spring? i lay on the hammock in the sun today in complete happiness, with my little boy rocking me back and forth. i think that i will meet the goodness of God many times in my backyard this year. i pray the same for you.
i found my new favourite pair of earrings there for five dollars. yes! you read that right. they are angel wings, made of something silvery. they make me feel like i have a tattoo hanging from my ears and they make me think of my beautiful friend Cheri, and they're long enough that when i move my head quickly they tap my neck. tap tap tap go my angel wings.
today i wore them (again) and was in Rona when the cashier said to me (cue troubling music)
her: 'oh, i totally have those exact earrings. did you get them in a make-your-own-earrings set?'
me: 'no, i actually bought them at a local craft fair' (at this point i think she must be mistaken)
her: 'oh, cause i bought one of those kits and they have the same pair in them'
me: 'well, i probably paid much more than you then..... five dollars'
her: 'ya, well, i paid four.
(hmmmm)
but, i mean, there was a whole bunch in the kit...."
(grrrrr)
me: 'did you get the kit on-line?' (please say etsy please say etsy)
her: 'oh no, just at walmart'
you have got to be kidding me.
icing on the cake: the girl beside her leans over and says "ya, you can totally get kits like that at Michaels".
nail in the coffin. how many other coloqualisms can i write here?
my angel wings have lost some angelic presence, i must confess.
on a brighter note, my husband made me a square foot garden box for mother's day this week. i actually have a bonified garden in my bonified backyard. i planted lettuce, spinach, mint, beets, carrots and peas this week. i feel so domestic i'm hankering for a new apron.
there is something so pleasurable about putting a seed in the ground, covering it up, giving it some water, and watching a miracle. i mean, there's nothing i can do but give the seed the right conditions for growth, i can't personally make it grow. it's a beautiful reminder that God is absolutely in charge.
i was listening to an AWESOME sermon the other day while painting. i was painting chain mail (as in the armor not the annoying letters) and a horse, but that's another matter. the sermon was from Brian Buhler at Pacific Community and it was on Psalm 3.
first, let me say that i was filled with thankfulness that so many of my dear friends and Parkside sojourners now attend this church. i pictured cori and leah and dawn and jaclyn and vanessa and jenna all sitting and hearing what i was listening to and i so wished i could have been there as well.
my favourite part of the sermon was when Brian talked about those passages in the Psalms that we all cringe at: the inappropriate, bloodthirsty, bargaining, theologically incorrect parts. and how he explained that these prayers are a part of our holy scriptures not so much as examples of prayers to pray, but examples of honesty in prayer. they give us an invitation to prayer those desperate prayers that in other circumstances we would never pray. "God, if you just....then i promise I'll....". prayers of anger and loss and bitterness and disillusionment. like God is saying "i can take it. tell me how you really feel". and then, after we've laid it all out on the table, God reminds us of his truth, his wisdom, his timing, his goodness. something we fail to grasp when we continue to stuff our true selves behind veneers of piety.
hey, do you want to listen to it? here it is: the transforming friendship. it's the april 16th one.
tomorrow another backyard miracle is taking place here in saskatoon: my husband is going to build a play set for our kids. yes. scott's never been a handy man before, but it's been something simmering in him somewhere - fanned by summer jobs and inspirational friends (eddie!). we got a play set for free off kijiji which we took at first to be an incredible miracle, then found out in the midst of dismantling it that the wood was half rotted. so, now we have half a play set (and a backyard big enough to hide it!), a neighbour with tools, and all the right elements for my husband to break out of the anderson family tradition and build!!! i will definitely post pics when it's done. i can hardly contain my excitement. two things built in one week!!!
saskatoon has finally greened up, there are buds on my pear trees and tulips in neighbours gardens. how would we ever survive without the promises of spring? i lay on the hammock in the sun today in complete happiness, with my little boy rocking me back and forth. i think that i will meet the goodness of God many times in my backyard this year. i pray the same for you.
Monday, May 2, 2011
today feels like a turning point.
first, it was my little man's last day of being three years old. sigh. i picked him up into my arms at the grocery store and said "pretty soon you'll be too big for me to do this!" and he said "i can stand on a chair and hug you." he's been using big words lately like 'familiar' and 'appreciate'. i can't believe my youngest is four.
secondly, i started attending a bootcamp class with two friends today. i've really been asking God for this (i can NOT believe i just wrote that, but it's true) and it was such an awesome answer to prayer to have friends to work out with. for some reason i can motivate other people to exercise much better than i can motivate myself. but i was actually excited for boot camp. miracle! i remember in BC watching my friend Leah, and how she would be so excited to exercise and i thought (sorry Leah) "coo-coo". exercise has always been a painful process for me, albeit necessary: like fasting, or breast-feeding, or small-talk. but now...nothing beats that endorphine rush, or the satisfaction i feel knowing i've worked hard at my health. and i'm proud of the example i'm being for my kids. and secretly proud of my thighs. don't tell.
third, it was 18 degrees in Saskatoon today, and i felt the incredible sensation of being hot. ahhhhh. we barbequed steak for dinner and splurged on corn-on-the-cob. we walked along the river and explored the foot-bride near the wier. we saw a pelican! a big white one bobbing up and down on the water. who knew? and i got my first saskatoon misquito bite. it's begun.
fourth, carter started his first soccer class today. i think his team name is going to be the "little monkeys" and their chant is a very cute "oo-oo-ahh-ahh". yes, he cried at least twice in the practice because someone else was using the ball he wanted, but he also trapped the ball with his foot quite well a few times and managed to listen to most of the instructions. baby steps.
i guess today feels like i've settled in an inch more in this new home. like i've wiggled my hips and sunk down a bit deeper. new rhythms, new appreciation, new discoveries. it feels great (except for the misquito bite).
the other day scott and i were talking about a church in the area and their approach to leadership and i had the thought "maybe that's the answer for Parkside!", then quickly realized we are no longer at Parkside, and there no longer is a Parkside, and,well, that's hard. it's hard. there are some wishes and wonderings and what-ifs in my soul that i continue to stuff down. no answers in this life i'm sure. but some scars that i tenderly stroke as dear friends, as beautiful memories and deep loss.
on saturday night scott pulled out his guitar and i pulled out my paintbrushes and we sang and painted for an hour. songs we haven't sung in a long time. prayers we needed to remember. it was lovely. i'm currently painting someone's vision of the kingdom of God - a huge battle scene actually - and it's inspiring and terrifying all at the same time. inspiring in the vision, and terrifying in the fact that i'm painting chain mail and horses and a castle. ! i'll post it when it's done in four months. seriously.
i also went to a class on the weekend that taught me how to plant and tend succulents (one of my favourite variety of plants). the teacher was a sassy homosexual named roger who was wonderful and said things like "a rounded teaspoon ladies, we're not baking here" and "you'll find my succulent tips on the website". succulent tips. i love it. so, i'll leave you with some of my own succulence:
blessings to you all
ps. could someone hug leah for me? and dawn? and vanessa? and could someone encourage bethany that she's an incredible mother and artist? and could someone rub Jaclyn's belly for me? and tell Kandy she's beautiful? and kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek? thank you.
first, it was my little man's last day of being three years old. sigh. i picked him up into my arms at the grocery store and said "pretty soon you'll be too big for me to do this!" and he said "i can stand on a chair and hug you." he's been using big words lately like 'familiar' and 'appreciate'. i can't believe my youngest is four.
secondly, i started attending a bootcamp class with two friends today. i've really been asking God for this (i can NOT believe i just wrote that, but it's true) and it was such an awesome answer to prayer to have friends to work out with. for some reason i can motivate other people to exercise much better than i can motivate myself. but i was actually excited for boot camp. miracle! i remember in BC watching my friend Leah, and how she would be so excited to exercise and i thought (sorry Leah) "coo-coo". exercise has always been a painful process for me, albeit necessary: like fasting, or breast-feeding, or small-talk. but now...nothing beats that endorphine rush, or the satisfaction i feel knowing i've worked hard at my health. and i'm proud of the example i'm being for my kids. and secretly proud of my thighs. don't tell.
third, it was 18 degrees in Saskatoon today, and i felt the incredible sensation of being hot. ahhhhh. we barbequed steak for dinner and splurged on corn-on-the-cob. we walked along the river and explored the foot-bride near the wier. we saw a pelican! a big white one bobbing up and down on the water. who knew? and i got my first saskatoon misquito bite. it's begun.
fourth, carter started his first soccer class today. i think his team name is going to be the "little monkeys" and their chant is a very cute "oo-oo-ahh-ahh". yes, he cried at least twice in the practice because someone else was using the ball he wanted, but he also trapped the ball with his foot quite well a few times and managed to listen to most of the instructions. baby steps.
i guess today feels like i've settled in an inch more in this new home. like i've wiggled my hips and sunk down a bit deeper. new rhythms, new appreciation, new discoveries. it feels great (except for the misquito bite).
the other day scott and i were talking about a church in the area and their approach to leadership and i had the thought "maybe that's the answer for Parkside!", then quickly realized we are no longer at Parkside, and there no longer is a Parkside, and,well, that's hard. it's hard. there are some wishes and wonderings and what-ifs in my soul that i continue to stuff down. no answers in this life i'm sure. but some scars that i tenderly stroke as dear friends, as beautiful memories and deep loss.
on saturday night scott pulled out his guitar and i pulled out my paintbrushes and we sang and painted for an hour. songs we haven't sung in a long time. prayers we needed to remember. it was lovely. i'm currently painting someone's vision of the kingdom of God - a huge battle scene actually - and it's inspiring and terrifying all at the same time. inspiring in the vision, and terrifying in the fact that i'm painting chain mail and horses and a castle. ! i'll post it when it's done in four months. seriously.
i also went to a class on the weekend that taught me how to plant and tend succulents (one of my favourite variety of plants). the teacher was a sassy homosexual named roger who was wonderful and said things like "a rounded teaspoon ladies, we're not baking here" and "you'll find my succulent tips on the website". succulent tips. i love it. so, i'll leave you with some of my own succulence:
- don't skip rope if you have poor bladder control (learned that one in bootcamp today)
- bbq your steak for 2 minutes, each side, on high heat - then tent with foil for 10 minutes and perfection!
- if your kitchenaid mixer falls on your foot don't watch the blood pooling under your skin because it will make you want to pass out.
- prioritize sabbath
- my new favourite author is Laurie R. King (not to be confused with Laurie King who does erotic photography - this one learned at the computor kiosk in the middle of indigo)
- try Stash's double bergamot earl grey tea
- live thankfully
blessings to you all
ps. could someone hug leah for me? and dawn? and vanessa? and could someone encourage bethany that she's an incredible mother and artist? and could someone rub Jaclyn's belly for me? and tell Kandy she's beautiful? and kiss my mother-in-law on the cheek? thank you.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Good Friday
today is Good Friday.
For some reason i prefer this day to Easter Sunday. although, truthfully, i am always left disappointed at my inadequacy to enter into either fully. Good Friday speaks to me of disappointment, loss, sadness; the revelation that sometimes the Christian life looks empty of God's presence, looks confusing and ridiculous and embarassing.
maybe it's because of the frustration of my upbringing in the Pentecostal church - always encouraging me to find the joy of my salvation, to trust that everything will work out! Blessing! Health! Christ Conquers! truths, but not the Truth. How does one reconcile personal pain with such a belief system? and habitual sin? and crippling fear?
enter Good Friday.
and dark Saturday.
it is such a gift for me to see the Messiahs moment of absolute strength, His action of defeating sin and conquering death, clothed in humility, in humiliation, in pain and grief.
If God is in the business of using such things for His beautiful purposes, then surely there's a chance for my life to mean something extraordianary. As a Christ follower I don't have to put on a happy face, i don't have to pretend to have the 'joy joy joy joy down in my heart'. I don't have to wipe over my sin and failures and feign perfection. I am called to be real. as real as a man bleeding and broken and desperate on a cross.
i am called to share my pain with others, so that I can share my healing with them too. I am called to admit when I feel forsaken by God, so that He can awaken me again to the grace of each breath and heartbeat. I am called to expose my wounds, so that others may see their woundedness in me, and follow me to the source of Life.
pretending to forever live in the resurrection, while denying the reality of the crucifixion, and the dark day of abandoned emptiness, left me in a place of skin-deep religion. once i removed the masks of happiness and confidence i forced myself to wear, i was amazed to find there was nothing underneath them. and the amazing miracle of my life took place when i started to embrace my lack of trust, my brokenness, my fears, my idolatry - once i started naming these things and sharing them and taking steps away from them - i found the joy! blessing! wholeness! Christ conquers! resurrection can not happen without crucifixion.
so, dear friends and stranger alike: die today to the masks that you wear. come clean. and tomorrow you will live.
For some reason i prefer this day to Easter Sunday. although, truthfully, i am always left disappointed at my inadequacy to enter into either fully. Good Friday speaks to me of disappointment, loss, sadness; the revelation that sometimes the Christian life looks empty of God's presence, looks confusing and ridiculous and embarassing.
maybe it's because of the frustration of my upbringing in the Pentecostal church - always encouraging me to find the joy of my salvation, to trust that everything will work out! Blessing! Health! Christ Conquers! truths, but not the Truth. How does one reconcile personal pain with such a belief system? and habitual sin? and crippling fear?
enter Good Friday.
and dark Saturday.
it is such a gift for me to see the Messiahs moment of absolute strength, His action of defeating sin and conquering death, clothed in humility, in humiliation, in pain and grief.
If God is in the business of using such things for His beautiful purposes, then surely there's a chance for my life to mean something extraordianary. As a Christ follower I don't have to put on a happy face, i don't have to pretend to have the 'joy joy joy joy down in my heart'. I don't have to wipe over my sin and failures and feign perfection. I am called to be real. as real as a man bleeding and broken and desperate on a cross.
i am called to share my pain with others, so that I can share my healing with them too. I am called to admit when I feel forsaken by God, so that He can awaken me again to the grace of each breath and heartbeat. I am called to expose my wounds, so that others may see their woundedness in me, and follow me to the source of Life.
pretending to forever live in the resurrection, while denying the reality of the crucifixion, and the dark day of abandoned emptiness, left me in a place of skin-deep religion. once i removed the masks of happiness and confidence i forced myself to wear, i was amazed to find there was nothing underneath them. and the amazing miracle of my life took place when i started to embrace my lack of trust, my brokenness, my fears, my idolatry - once i started naming these things and sharing them and taking steps away from them - i found the joy! blessing! wholeness! Christ conquers! resurrection can not happen without crucifixion.
so, dear friends and stranger alike: die today to the masks that you wear. come clean. and tomorrow you will live.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
denouement
my in-laws were just in town for a few days, and now they've left and i have this dull after the climax feeling. denouement. who likes denouement? maybe people who enjoy endings. i, for one, am always saddened when i near the end of a book or a (good) movie. i hate packing for a vacation early because that hour of waiting between the zipping of the suitcase and getting in the car seems to suck all the excitement out of me. give me tension and drama and suspense!!
my in-laws walked out, i closed the door and turned around to.....silence. i've been teetering over grumpy ever since.
i severely put my foot in my mouth the other day. want to hear?
i took my guests to the saskatoon farmer's market and immediately hit a stall that was selling sea buckthorn berries. never heard of them? well, they're the most tart thing you've ever tasted, and supposedly are the best thing in the world for your immune system and overall health. you heard it hear first, don't forget. well, i had just purchased a little bag of these gems for smoothies and happened to glance down at the literature on the table, with graphs and charts promoting the seabuckthorn for all it's glorious qualities. i noticed the line: president Betty Forbes. i said "ha! betty forbes! that's funny!!" (thinking, of course, of betty ford) and immediately noticed a silence illuminating from the other side of the table. i looked at this lovely woman, who was now staring at the floor, and quietly asked
"are you Betty Forbes?"
she nodded.
poop.
i tried to dig myself out but fear i was unsuccessful.
i had a friend invite me to be on the church's slopitch team. at first i was flattered, then quickly realized she had never seen me play any sport whatsoever, which then quickly led me to remember that i suck at competitive sport. the fact that i first read the invitation as "would you be interested in playing slop-itch" should have been the first clue. i thought it must be a card game i had yet to hear of. :) i declined the offer, stating that it was in her best interest.
my daughter's principal informed her school today that we are in the season of "sprinter". translation: 'stop pretending it's spring out there and get your winter coats back on.' the snow has almost completely melted however, and i have joyfully discovered a flower bed in my backyard, as well as some patio stones making little paths here and there and a firepit circle. we are using the barbeque more than the oven and i've packed away the long-johns. you don't scare me sprinter!
one of the most magical moments of my last week was holding my friend lindsey's newborn baby in my arms. he led out a big poop - i was so happy! it is always a breathtaking experience to be reminded again of how helpless we enter the world, how completely devoid of understanding, how completely dependant and fragile...and that this was the path Christ chose. it speaks to me of strength in weakness, beauty in dependency, honour in parenthood, blessing in helplessness. and what a gift to walk beside Lindsey. this is her first baby, and it feels so fulfilling to be able to say "this is normal" - the words i so wanted to hear every hour in the first weeks of my daughter's life. i often add "i'm sorry it's normal", because truly, the hormonal imbalance, the discomfort, the panic, the confusion, the sense of drowning and losing yourself....why oh why does this have to be the norm?
i tell myself it's because motherhood is a sacred and incredible calling that cannot be entered into lightly. we literally tear ourselves open for our children, and should continue to for the rest of our lives.
yet, my son eskimo kissed me tonight (sorry that's so not politically correct), and my daughter held my hand and taught me a song about elephants, so the trade off is comparable. they will fill my denouement with new climaxes and adventures and tension, i'm sure.
thank God.
my in-laws walked out, i closed the door and turned around to.....silence. i've been teetering over grumpy ever since.
i severely put my foot in my mouth the other day. want to hear?
i took my guests to the saskatoon farmer's market and immediately hit a stall that was selling sea buckthorn berries. never heard of them? well, they're the most tart thing you've ever tasted, and supposedly are the best thing in the world for your immune system and overall health. you heard it hear first, don't forget. well, i had just purchased a little bag of these gems for smoothies and happened to glance down at the literature on the table, with graphs and charts promoting the seabuckthorn for all it's glorious qualities. i noticed the line: president Betty Forbes. i said "ha! betty forbes! that's funny!!" (thinking, of course, of betty ford) and immediately noticed a silence illuminating from the other side of the table. i looked at this lovely woman, who was now staring at the floor, and quietly asked
"are you Betty Forbes?"
she nodded.
poop.
i tried to dig myself out but fear i was unsuccessful.
i had a friend invite me to be on the church's slopitch team. at first i was flattered, then quickly realized she had never seen me play any sport whatsoever, which then quickly led me to remember that i suck at competitive sport. the fact that i first read the invitation as "would you be interested in playing slop-itch" should have been the first clue. i thought it must be a card game i had yet to hear of. :) i declined the offer, stating that it was in her best interest.
my daughter's principal informed her school today that we are in the season of "sprinter". translation: 'stop pretending it's spring out there and get your winter coats back on.' the snow has almost completely melted however, and i have joyfully discovered a flower bed in my backyard, as well as some patio stones making little paths here and there and a firepit circle. we are using the barbeque more than the oven and i've packed away the long-johns. you don't scare me sprinter!
one of the most magical moments of my last week was holding my friend lindsey's newborn baby in my arms. he led out a big poop - i was so happy! it is always a breathtaking experience to be reminded again of how helpless we enter the world, how completely devoid of understanding, how completely dependant and fragile...and that this was the path Christ chose. it speaks to me of strength in weakness, beauty in dependency, honour in parenthood, blessing in helplessness. and what a gift to walk beside Lindsey. this is her first baby, and it feels so fulfilling to be able to say "this is normal" - the words i so wanted to hear every hour in the first weeks of my daughter's life. i often add "i'm sorry it's normal", because truly, the hormonal imbalance, the discomfort, the panic, the confusion, the sense of drowning and losing yourself....why oh why does this have to be the norm?
i tell myself it's because motherhood is a sacred and incredible calling that cannot be entered into lightly. we literally tear ourselves open for our children, and should continue to for the rest of our lives.
yet, my son eskimo kissed me tonight (sorry that's so not politically correct), and my daughter held my hand and taught me a song about elephants, so the trade off is comparable. they will fill my denouement with new climaxes and adventures and tension, i'm sure.
thank God.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
a quieting
i feel quiet.
those of you who know me well, or have spent more than three minutes in the same room as me, will know that this is not an often felt feeling. but tonight i have this desire to wrap myself in down and sit under the stars and rest in peace. i can almost imgine myself back at camp as a teenager, the heavens displaying the glory of God, lying on top of a rough picnic table, the smell of campfire and lake and the feeling of slightly burned skin, the taste of salt and vinegared french fries lingering on my lips. and crickets.
spring has sprung in Saskatoon, just when i was beginning to think it would never. there are streams of melted snow running down the driveways and roads, expertly engineered to tilt into the waiting sewers. there are also massive puddles, that freeze and thaw each night and day. i was standing in one such puddle, picking up my daughter from school, when i began to notice that EVERY child on the playground was in rubber boots. i didn't get the saskatoon spring footwear memo, and was holding the hand of my very wet son, in sneakers. it will take a while before the rhythms become my own.
one rhythm that is becoming louder and clearer to me is that of Sabbath. this week we experienced it. it was a day of breathing deeply; no lists, no "shoulds", no demands. we sunk ourselves deep into the day and joyfully explored it as it unfolded around us. we finished putting together our new barbeque. we held a newborn baby. we sat and listened to God. we played. we even shopped. it was lovely.
here's what i'm seeing worked for me last week: i vacuumed on Sunday and tidied the house so that i wouldn't feel like it was falling in on me on my sabbath. clean floors and a clear kitchen sink somehow give me the impression that my whole house is clean. i didn't make a to-do list. i didn't sleep in. i spent time with God. i spent time with friends. i played with my children. i prepared part of dinner the night before, and didn't bother with dirty dishes. i tried to be attentive to God's leading. i let go. i enjoyed myself.
i wonder if that's why i feel so quiet tonight, maybe my sabbath rest is lingering in my bones, calling me to sit and listen and reflect.
i've been reading snippets of works by Charles de Foucauld this week, and here's one for us tonight.
When one loves one longs to be for ever in converse with him one loves, or at least to be always in his sight. Prayer is nothing else. This is what prayer is: intimate intercourse with the Beloved. You look at Him; you tell Him of your love, you are happy at His feet, you tell Him you will live and die there.
je veux crier l'Evangile toute ma vie.
(i will shout the gospel all my life)
yes, Lord. even in this quiet.
those of you who know me well, or have spent more than three minutes in the same room as me, will know that this is not an often felt feeling. but tonight i have this desire to wrap myself in down and sit under the stars and rest in peace. i can almost imgine myself back at camp as a teenager, the heavens displaying the glory of God, lying on top of a rough picnic table, the smell of campfire and lake and the feeling of slightly burned skin, the taste of salt and vinegared french fries lingering on my lips. and crickets.
spring has sprung in Saskatoon, just when i was beginning to think it would never. there are streams of melted snow running down the driveways and roads, expertly engineered to tilt into the waiting sewers. there are also massive puddles, that freeze and thaw each night and day. i was standing in one such puddle, picking up my daughter from school, when i began to notice that EVERY child on the playground was in rubber boots. i didn't get the saskatoon spring footwear memo, and was holding the hand of my very wet son, in sneakers. it will take a while before the rhythms become my own.
one rhythm that is becoming louder and clearer to me is that of Sabbath. this week we experienced it. it was a day of breathing deeply; no lists, no "shoulds", no demands. we sunk ourselves deep into the day and joyfully explored it as it unfolded around us. we finished putting together our new barbeque. we held a newborn baby. we sat and listened to God. we played. we even shopped. it was lovely.
here's what i'm seeing worked for me last week: i vacuumed on Sunday and tidied the house so that i wouldn't feel like it was falling in on me on my sabbath. clean floors and a clear kitchen sink somehow give me the impression that my whole house is clean. i didn't make a to-do list. i didn't sleep in. i spent time with God. i spent time with friends. i played with my children. i prepared part of dinner the night before, and didn't bother with dirty dishes. i tried to be attentive to God's leading. i let go. i enjoyed myself.
i wonder if that's why i feel so quiet tonight, maybe my sabbath rest is lingering in my bones, calling me to sit and listen and reflect.
i've been reading snippets of works by Charles de Foucauld this week, and here's one for us tonight.
When one loves one longs to be for ever in converse with him one loves, or at least to be always in his sight. Prayer is nothing else. This is what prayer is: intimate intercourse with the Beloved. You look at Him; you tell Him of your love, you are happy at His feet, you tell Him you will live and die there.
je veux crier l'Evangile toute ma vie.
(i will shout the gospel all my life)
yes, Lord. even in this quiet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)